Things About Oscar Isaac That We Have Typed Out With Our Own Two Hands

Fuck it. Here are the receipts. Thanks a lot, Thirst Aid Kit.

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[after listening to a Thirst Aid Kit drabble] 

KEL
i want Oscar Isaac to feed me an omelette
PLEASE. chop tomatoes
before me

TARA
I want to come home tipsy and have him cook for me VERY VERY MUCH

KEL
I’m paralyzed with desire
OH PLEASE
you know he would
he would make the BEST bacon and eggs
he would FLIP a TEA TOWEL over his SHOULDER
and pad around in bare feet and comfortable sweat pants
and then he would carry you into BED and take off your hair tie because he knows it’s hurting your scalp and THEN HE WOULD DO THE DISHES!!!

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TARA
oscar isaac says buddy a lot in this movie
and i want him to call me buddy and co-parent a cat with me
maybe he should call the cat buddy

 

KEL
specific but true
i want him to get me ice-cream when i’m too sleepy to get up
and then wash the bowl afterwards

TARA
god our whole chat is just housework kink

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KEL
what’s the big deal about Adam Driver….

TARA
he looks like the smoothness of a cheese cube
I Don’t See It
Oscar Isaac Is Right There

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KEL
[has sent an image]

TARA
thank you

KEL
you’re welcome
can’t decide if i’d rather be him or the dog
be the sweater i think that’s the only answer

CAT
they have the same expression
[crying face]
modern-day Darcy

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TARA
I want Laura Dern to order me around but also
I want to order Oscar Isaac around
the duality of man

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